Heavenly Homecoming

 Ryan Morgan Vorhees

March 29, 1984- September 29, 2020

In our deepest sorrow we announce that Ryan finished his battle with cancer yesterday and went Home to be with Jesus. He was surrounded by his family, with Desiree kissing and holding him as he passed. We grieve. We will continue to grieve. We serve a good and faithful God, who knows suffering, who lost a son and He is grieving with us. We take comfort that Ryan is being celebrated in heaven for a life well lived.

Ryan was a fierce competitor who fought through his last breath. Ryan will be remembered for so many things, but his faith, family and friends were what was most important to him. He loved the Lord and his faith influenced many. He loved his wife and children with a passion. His friends were friends for life. He was a brother, firstborn son, and uncle. He was loved by all.

From where Ryan is sitting right now, we know he would want us to tell you how important faith in Jesus is. In Ryan’s own words, “We trust God. We give him glory even in trials. His Will be done and we love Him no matter what. And if you don't have a personal relationship with Jesus Christ, He wants one with you. There really isn't anything more important than your Salvation.”

We will be facilitating information about the memorial, ways to support and help Desiree, and any other information through his GoFundMe page.

We ask for patience, grace, love and prayers at this time.

Forever in our hearts, but we will see you again.

https://www.gofundme.com/f/ryanscancerjourney

July 31 - Still Alive

Hey Friends,

I don't even know where we left off in my updates.  The days are slow but the weeks go by fast!  As some of you have heard, I went to Salt Lake City and to Texas to check out some new, alternative treatments.  I was gone from May 20 - June 21.  Some treatments helped, some did not, but we learned a lot about the body and more natural ways to strengthen it, increasing it's ability to fight disease.  I've been back home for a little over a month now, continuing my old treatments and adding new treatments that I've learned. 

Despite our efforts, I have felt my body slowly deteriorating.  My stomach has gotten a little bigger from the tumors.  I can't gain any weight.  My energy is so low, it's hard to get out of bed some days.  These are not signs of getting better.  Therefore we got a new CT scan and our fears were confirmed.  Over the last 2 months, all my tumors have grown.  We need to get more aggressive. My oncologist said that traditional chemo is off the table, as my body is too weak to handle it.  However, they can administer a lower dose and lower the amount of drugs they would use for that treatment.  With us still trying to avoid chemo, we are going with Plan B.  Immunotherapy has it's risks, but less risky than chemo.  And there are some great testimonies regarding the results.

So we will be doing a round of immunotherapy on Tuesday, August 4.  One treatment every 3 weeks.  We will give it a try and see how my body and the tumors react.  We are hoping and praying this is the treatment that God uses to heal me.  My oncologist said that at this point, I will die from this cancer.  Their goal is to prolong my life as long as they can.  I don't know if that's days, months, or years.  But this was the first time anyone said that my cancer is terminal.  I hadn't thought of that until now.  I've always thought that healing was coming.  Needless to say, the words hit hard, and for the next 5 days, my health went down significantly and I probably had mild depression.  The power of positivity and the mind is amazing and can steer your health in any direction.  This was last week. 

This oncologist isn't God.  How do they know if/when I'm going to die?  What if God does step in and heals me?  With God's help and the help of family, I've been trying to change my mindset with faith that God is bigger than this cancer, and death is not certain.  I need to continue to fight and stay healthy.  I think of Psalm 118:17-18 which says "I will not die but live, and will proclaim what the Lord has done.  The Lord has chastened me severely, but he has not given me over to death." 

As long as God wakes me up the next day, He has a plan for me.  Yes, we updated our will, went over all finances, talk about the what-ifs, etc...but we are still trusting God and His timing.  And prayer is still very much appreciated.  Please pray wisdom as we move into bigger therapies.  Prayer for strength that my body can handle these therapies.  Prayer for my family as they navigate with us.  Prayer for Desiree - full time mom and caregiver, watching her husband deteriorate daily.  I can get around our house, with difficulty.  But I have a cane for short distances, a wheel chair for longer trips, and a motorized scooter...this is mainly to be able to chase my kids outside and be somewhat involved in their lives.  My chair is just about as fast as their power wheels.

We continue to be blessed by people as we go through this.  From simple visits to dinners to prayer and donations, we are grateful for the community we have around us.  God is faithful, merciful, compassionate, and just.  No matter the outcome, we know God never changes and we can always call on and rely on Him. 

June 1 - Update from Desiree

I have not updated Facebook for a long time... I have not sent hand written Thank You notes... I have not written in a journal... I have not responded to many text messages... I have been at capacity, to say the least, as wife, mama, caregiver, plant-based beginner chef, home manager, and of course, "Mom-ster" ("Mommy, you be a monster and chase us around infinity times!"...(sigh)..."Yes, little loves, here I come!") However I muster up the courage and energy to write this update today on behalf of my beloved husband... as his helpmate, his voice, his strength, when he cannot. As Aaron and Hur held up Moses' arms when he grew tired, in order to win a battle. (Exodus 17 - what a cool story!). If you've even just met Ryan, you immediately love him. Since his diagnosis in January, Ryan has been working extremely hard on his healing journey from stage 4 adrenal cortical cancer. Unfortunately, our "Plan A" treatment regimen alone, has not been successful. Blood tests, another scan, general poor health, and a grim, frightening conversation with his oncologist, have confirmed that we need to move on to another plan immediately. After praying and seeking advice, we decided to pursue a treatment in Salt Lake City for 3 months - "Plan B". Ryan was in pretty bad shape going out there. He had been bed ridden for days prior, was on morphine for extreme abdominal pain, and his parents wheeled him through the airport. My heart hurt so deeply to send him off and see him like that - our once strong SuperMan, now so frail and somber. Ryan has been in Salt Lake City for a week now undergoing intense, multiple hours-long treatment, every day - 7 days/week! His parents and my father are there with him and report that while still in pain, Ryan is experiencing tiny improvements each day! Praise the Lord for small evidences of grace! We all believe that he is in the right place, at the right time, with the right team around him. (My dad joked that Ryan died and went to the "other place" based on who his 3 new roommates are! Strong motivation to get well and get home!) The kids and I are at home and miss Daddy terribly, but feel at peace that he, and we, are where we all should be right now. We are each doing the work God is calling us to do for this time. And I truly feel the Lord is holding us and sustaining me daily- my energy and health - and I have a wonderful, strong support team around me. In addition to his treatment in SLC, the rare opportunity opened up (talk about God opening doors for us to walk through!) for Ryan to be treated by a doctor (the Guru in this type of treatment) in Texas next week. So Ryan and his entourage will be going to Texas for a week, then back to SLC. This trip and additional treatment, bring me to the reason for my update and request today. We are so grateful and humbled for the financial gifts we've been given this far! THANK YOU! Between his hospitalization, scans, supplements, alternative treatments (not approved or covered by insurance), and this Plan B treatment in SLC, we have used these funds wisely for Ryan's care. However, we would like to ASK for help again. Additional funds will cover this upcoming trip to Texas including the treatment, as well as any further treatment ("Plan C") if needed. Praying we won't get to Plan C! Additionally, our most pressing ASK is for prayer. Some may say, "I wish I could do more", but honestly, as Rev. Billy Graham said, "praying for someone is the equivalent of offering a starving man food." It's the BEST we can offer someone. "Praying unlocks the doors of heaven and releases the power of God." So THANK YOU in advance for joining me in lifting up my husband, praying for Ryan's healing and for the restoration of our own Superman. Now if you'll excuse me... Momster is being called. xoxo Team Vorhees, Desiree, Jaxon, Wyatt, & Roseleigh

May 4 - Onward and Forward!

Hey Friends,

Well, March 22 was the last update and I left you hanging. I apologize. I was in a lot of pain and trying to get through that setback. The last 6 weeks have been a lot of the same thing. I do well for 1-2 weeks, then have a 7 day setback, then I do it again. I just got out of a 2 week setback that was pretty terrible, but today is the 2nd day I’m feeling like myself again and am able to be up and involved in my family life.

After the last update, we ended up getting an ultrasound instead of a CT scan, as it is less invasive and less bad for you. However, it also isn’t as clear. Myself and the doctors couldn’t get a good read to compare to my last scans, and couldn’t determine whether or not the tumors are growing or not. I held off for a while on another scan, as I was starting to feel better, but have determined the scan is necessary. I was off my routine the last two weeks due to being ill, but am back on everything. I have a CT scan scheduled for May 28. This allows me a couple weeks of being back on routine, taking my 65 pills, getting some exercise, doing some alternative treatments, and trying to make by body as strong as possible until then.

I’ll be getting some blood work done as well as the scan. After this, we will have a really good idea on how my treatment is going. Especially without chemo. Then we will take that information and use it to make decisions on the best way to move forward. This is where the prayer comes in. We would like to ask for prayer for health up through the scan. I’d like to avoid any setbacks and try to be as healthy as I can until then for optimal results. Prayer for the scans. We are looking for no more growth in the tumors. We are looking for shrinking tumors. Prayer for decisions. Based on the information we will get, we must decide on how to move forward. Do we continue to pursue natural treatments, or do we consider conventional methods, which we are still not fond of.

God has been speaking to us as well, especially through different people, some who’ve given us words they received from God regarding us and our situation. I keep telling myself I need to pray more. I need to read the Bible more. This is what God wants and this is what I need to do win his healing favor in my battle. At least that is what I thought. Yes, God wants that. However, more than that, He wants a more personal relationship with me. He wants one with you too. God’s been telling me simply to talk with him more. Talk with him throughout the day. In prayer, yes. But in regular conversation too. Little worries, daily stresses, prayer for others – bring it to Him. All day. I get a text from a friend with a prayer request. Talk to God right then and there. I have a new worry. Talk to God. I’m enjoying a walk or a sunset or a nap. Talk to God. It’s not something I’m used to and I need to work out that “muscle” to make it more natural. God wants me to talk with Him outside of my morning prayer and meal-time prayers? Go figure!

We continue to feel confident that God will bring us through this journey and want God to use us and our story to further His kingdom. We also understand (and have been told) this will be a long and difficult road. BUT Jesus is with us and walking us down the path, pointing out the obstacles and helping us overcome. We hang on to this hope and the promises we have in God’s Word. I’ll be better at updating, and will be back once the CT results are in. This should be around June 1. Until then, and as always, we are so appreciative of all of you who are supporting us in different ways. There is no way we could have tackled this on our own. God is good and faithful. Even in hard times. This is a good thing to remember, especially in our current world. Remember that.

Ryan

March 22 - ups and downs

Hey Friends,

Well, it’s been around 3 weeks since my last update.  Until recently, it’s been quite boring (but positive).  Over the 3 weeks I was (slowly, slowly) gaining weight.  I was up and about more.  My appetite and energy level had been low for a long time.  Recently, I was eating full meals, extra shakes and some snacks.  My energy level was WAY UP.  I went for a long walk with the family (hadn’t done that since January) and played with the boys, which I haven’t been able to do with the lack of energy.  Luckily the Corona Virus isn’t affecting our family much.  We have been and will continue to hunker at home (with a few play dates for the kids).  Honestly, I had been getting up in the morning to spend time with God, but because (insert excuse), I haven’t been getting up recently.

Then came Monday.  We had a great weekend only to develop a deep cough that day.  I stayed inside and laid low, but the cough hurt.  And I think with all the pressure and tensing of the cough, I may have pulled something in my lower, left abdomen.  The pain is terrible.  This kind of pain brought me to the ER in January, when this all started.  I started on Morphine again (which I’d been off of for weeks) but the help hasn’t come yet.  I can only lay in my bed and not move or talk without pain – all for the last 6 days.  If this is like before in January, it took around 6 days on Morphine at the hospital to have the pain subside.  Well, I can eat my food, sleep in my bed, and take Morphine, by myself, thanks.  Tackling this at home isn’t fun, as I am confined to bed for the most part, and can’t help when the house is a mess, dinner needs to be made, and the kids (and maybe Des and I) are crying.  Me failing is one of the hardest things to overcome – mentally and physically. 

Our hospital bills (not including insurance, so we will pay less) have topped $130k, and, realizing there are some very important drugs, supplements, and therapies available to fight cancer, (some expensive) we have been able to carefully choose which to do and which to not do, and have the money to do as much as we can to help defeat this thing.  We continue to thank God for all of you and for your support in many different ways.  I appreciate all the comments on Facebook and recommendations of things to try.  If I could respond to everyone, I would. 

We wanted to wait until the beginning of April for more scans (4 weeks after declining the chemo.)  This scare has me packed ready for the ER if needed.  Though I think the ER is a sick and full place right now, so I’m taking that into account as well in staying home.  We are now trying to get a scan this week and see if what we are doing is working.  If the tumors are growing, then what I’m doing isn’t working and chemo is the last hope (not a good one).  However, if it shows no growth or a little shrinkage, I will be singing shouts of joy to the Lord and continuing down the natural path.  It is a scary place to be – with answers coming that could point me toward more healing or closer to death.

We want this to be over.  It’s becoming more than we want to deal with.  I know that suffering is predicted in the Bible and that there is a lot of good that God can show through this.  That doesn’t mean it’s hard and I want instant healing.  I’m hanging on to the little faith and trust I have left.  We continue to appreciate your prayers and pray that you would hold your family tight this week (they are all at your house for the whole week…)  If you and your spouse or kids are alive and healthy, that’s all you need.  Let all the trivial things go.  Enjoy each other during this quarantine.  I’ll let you know what the scan says.

In Him,

Ryan

March 1 - 4 weeks

Friends,

I wanted to shoot a quick update to everyone regarding the past 2 weeks.  On Tuesday, February 18, my sister-in-law set up a day of prayer and fasting for the Vorhees Family and spread it around Facebook.  If you didn’t know about Tuesday and missed it, no worries -  any other day will work.  Chemo was scheduled for Friday but I really wasn’t ready to try that yet.  I was scheduled and was going to do it, but it felt like the wrong direction.  I also had a meeting on Thursday with one last recommended natural doctor who was going to do a live blood analysis on me. 

Tuesday we knew something was going to happen, as a lot of people were praying and fasting for us.  Well, on Tuesday the 18th, people started praying – and I got the flu.  In bed all day.  102 degrees.  Sick for 3 days.  Lost 5 lbs.  Not fun.  Then I met with the last doctor, who told me chemo would be bad for me, due to lack of oxygen in my blood, and recommended another route for 6 weeks.  So I don’t feel well, now have a doctor saying chemo would be bad for me, and plan to start chemo the next day!  With my low oxygen levels I really don’t want chemo now but hate to cancel it.  BUT, my Oncologist called me on Thursday to confirm chemo, and I told her I had been sick.  She told me because of the illness, they needed to cancel the chemo until I was healthier.  Full Circle.  Big prayer day on Tues, I get sick, that leads to cancellation of chemo and another doctor’s recommendations.  This is the direction we feel is best for us.  And I think this was all part of God’s plan and timing!

I am putting off chemo for 4 weeks.  We have a very strict daily regimen I am sticking by to beat this cancer naturally.  All last week was spent working on me – my diet, my pills and powders, and my alternative treatments.  If this works, I wouldn’t need chemo.  I want to shrink the tumors back to nothing and erase this cancer.  And I believe I can do that with God’s help and the tools God gives us.  After 4 weeks, we will do a scan to see if the tumors are larger or smaller, and see what progress we’ve made if any.  I’m also learning the power of the mind when it comes to our health.  Positive thinking and visualizing the healing is a big factor in the healing process. 

The next 4 weeks will be on cruise control of sorts.  Do our daily regimen – every day – and stay healthy.  I plan on putting in a couple hours a day for work.  Need to keep the mind from going crazy.  And I need to eat.  Weight gain will be a positive indicator of success.  And I still need to believe that God has some cool things in the works.  Overall, we are feeling very positive with things at this point.  Trying to live a normal life.  We appreciate all the prayers, thoughts, comments, meals, texts – and everything else from all of you.  Your genuine concern has been very encouraging to us and helps us get through the good and the not-so-good days, knowing we are not tacking this alone, but have a ton of help at our fingertips.  We continue to say thank you for the support.  We continue to trust God’s plan.  We are looking forward to the end of this journey, and a long life ahead!

 

February 16 - Fighting Cancer

Friends,

I’ve lacked the energy recently to keep the updates going. And we’ve been busy. But we are on a positive track! Isaiah 40:31 says “those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength.” We are trusting and hoping on a daily basis. We’ve been asking God for guidance and direction. We’ve been praying for wisdom in making decisions. Through this, God has brought some amazing people into our lives. But before I get into details, I have to say a HUGE THANK YOU again to those who contributed to the GoFundMe account. This has exceeded our expectations above and beyond! I wish I could write each one of you a thank you card. And the giving continues. This has been a godsend as we have spent quite a bit already and have some more larger expenses coming up in relation to my healing. Thanks to you that is a stress we don’t have to have.

So far in this journey we’ve let the doctors and the hospitals direct our paths and have felt quite helpless. We decided to make a change and do some research about natural cancer fighting options. We’ve learned a lot! We met with two natural cancer fighting centers – one in Tijuana and one in LA – and have learned about some therapies that have had some great results with people and cancer. A friend from church who recently defeated brain cancer (naturally) has come along side me in this journey to help and coach me along the way. We’ve had multiple people reach out to my family with their amazing success stories fighting cancer themselves. We’ve read about how cannabis can kill cancer cells. We’ve learned that cancer can’t live in an alkaline body. We’ve learned that a well oxygenated body can keep cancer from growing and spreading. We’ve learned that we can turn our body into a cancer fighting machine with the right tools and nutrition. We will be implementing many of the things we have learned to help fight this cancer. God can heal us. Or he can give us the tools to use ourselves. Usually it’s a combination of both.

I had chemo scheduled for last week. I cancelled it. Wasn’t ready. It’s frustrating that I am creating a cancer-fighting body and chemo destroys it. I am currently scheduled for 4 days of chemo, starting on Friday…unless I cancel again… I would like prayer for direction on the choices to make to fight this cancer the most effective way. Prayer that God will use my body, His creation, to do what it was created to do and fight this disease. Prayer that some kind of test or result comes in before I start chemo that would change the direction. Prayer for my family. We make the most of every day, but we can feel the fog.

As many of you have already said, we also believe that this will be a big story in our testimony going forward. We believe God has a plan for our lives, and that it doesn’t end here. We believe in a miraculous God! We look forward to seeing what else He has in store for us. THANK YOU to those who brought us a keto meal and treats. I didn’t believe keto could be good but you’ve proved me wrong – everything was delicious. And very helpful to have. My energy comes and goes throughout the day. My weight is holding steady (barely). I still can’t eat as much as I used to. And the family life keeps it’s daily regimen regardless. Except this time, every moment is cherished a little more than normal.

February 3 - New Diagnosis

Friends,

Someone told me I should keep a journal during this time. I don’t like to journal – never have. Then I realized this is similar. So I guess I am journaling - just on a public forum. Sorry for the long posts with lots of information. Easy to skip if you’d like to. Maybe this is more for me. Though I really appreciate those who are keeping up with genuine interest to keep their prayers relevant and ask for specific things.

I’ve used the term roller coaster for this journey, and I will keep referencing to that – especially with this post. I know you are praying every day for my family and I. It may sometimes feel like it’s getting old. It may feel redundant. I ask that you continue. We believe the power of prayer is effective. Throughout the Bible people cried out to God – over and over and over. Joseph waited 13 years from being sold into slavery until he was made overseer of Egypt. Paul spent 3 years in prison. And another 2 years under house arrest or being guarded during his ministry. How in the world did Job get by every day…? I bet they prayed a lot during this time. The bible says to “pray continually,” “pray in every situation,” “devote yourselves to prayer,” and “be faithful in prayer.”

I met last week with one of the doctors who would be performing the surgery. He told be how dangerous it was, and that I would not only have the tumors removed, but I’d lose my spleen, my gallbladder, and my left adrenal gland as well, as they are affected. I’d be at risk for blood clots, which could be deadly. But if everything went well, I’d be fine. Then I received a call yesterday.

They did another MRI and PET scan last week. The results are in. My tumors are growing – and at a rapid rate – even over the past 1-2 weeks. This, as well as another test they did, ruled out the slow growing “neuroendocrine tumor” they thought I had. This ruled out surgery, as if they removed the masses, they would come back just as fast. This ruled out me being OK at the end of this. They are now diagnosing me with adrenocortical tumors – stage 4. I believe the chances of getting this are 1 in a million. Lucky me. They would need to try to slow or stop the growth via chemotherapy (with Mitotane) before surgery would be an option. If they can’t slow the growth, then…I don’t know. I have a meeting with a new doctor this week to talk about the options and questions.

As you can imagine, I’m tired of the changing diagnoses. I’m tired of the emotional roller coaster. I’m tired of the uncertainty. With this one I have a very low chance of survival…if this is correct. I don’t know if it is. Will it change next week? My energy is waning. I can feel my faith wanting to subside. Am I lacking faith? Am I not trusting God enough? Do I not pray enough? Please keep praying – for us and for yourselves and for others. Sometimes I feel that’s all I have. That, my family, and God’s Word. Romans 5:3 says, “We also glory in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance character; and character, hope. And hope does not put us to shame, because God’s love has been poured into our hearts through the Holy Spirit, who has been given to us.” I’m still asking God to show me his plan. What is He accomplishing through this? Why me? I’d love to add this to my testimony for the rest of a long life to tell others about our God and help more people come to know Him. Maybe we can minister to others going through tough times. I need to be around for that to happen. 2 Corinthians 1:3 says, “Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves receive from God.”

My “PTLs” have seemed few these days. Although my 3 best friends flew into town and surprised me for 2 days of hanging out. This happened after spending all day in a cancer hospital with people all around me dying, and me asking God over and over why I was there. Their visit probably kept some depression from creeping up inside me and let me remember what being normal was like again. I really appreciated that visit. I needed it. Desiree is still amazing, keeping the family together, keeping the house in order, and picking up my slack. I love her more than ever. She’s a strong woman of God and the best mom ever. I pray for Strength, physically and spiritually; Faith to trust God 100%; Hope that God is completely in control and has a plan for my life that goes beyond this. I will be getting a second opinion from Cancer Treatment Centers of America. Just starting to get that ball rolling. We will see. Biopsy tomorrow. Meet with new doctor later this week. Try to get CTCA all my info so they can give me their opinion. Will probably fly to one of their centers within the next couple weeks. I will update when I have more. My family and I appreciate you all so much.

January 29 - THANK YOU!!!

Friends,

All I can say is, WOW…  As I write this, I have tears welling up in my eyes thinking of the generosity of everyone.  Thank you doesn’t even come close.  I can’t talk with someone about this without getting emotional.  And I don’t cry. (well, maybe I have more so in the last 4 weeks…)  The outpouring of friends and family, and friends of friends, and people I don’t know very well, and those I’ve never met…is just inspiring!  As you are aware, there are a lot of thoughts and emotions going on in our minds and hearts.  This level of giving has not only humbled me and my family but has significantly reduced the HUGE worry that has been on our minds.  And again, the journey continues to twist and turn.  I sometimes feel like a broken record, but sincerely appreciate all of you who are going through this journey with us.  It would be hard to go this alone.  I hope you all experience God’s goodness and faithfulness as you follow along.  I hope this reveals more of God’s nature to you, as it has with me and my family.  Psalms 116:5 says, “The Lord is gracious and righteous; our God is full of compassion.”

I just got a call when writing this that I my MRI and CT scan (2 separate scans) tomorrow will require me to pay $5,000.  This is the first expense we have had to pay…and we will be able to!  It’s all God’s timing!  We believe this GoFundMe goal will cover all our immediate expenses coming up.  We are keeping the campaign open for anyone that can give above and beyond the goal.  That will go towards future surgeries and medical expenses related to my condition, and for some help at home while I’m down and out after surgery.  We will beat this cancer, physically and financially, for years to come!

We have seen God work in amazing ways since the beginning, and he continues to work through every one of you.  Your prayers and support have blessed us.  We hope God blesses you in ways you couldn’t have imagined.  I have a meeting with the doctor this week regarding the surgery we have yet to schedule, pending the tests and scans they want.  I will update you when I hear something.  Please continue to pray for my family.  This takes more of a toll on us daily.  

THANK YOU!

Ryan and Desiree

January 26 - More Waiting / Financial Help

We are continuing on the roller coaster. I’ve been home for a couple days now and we are getting back to “normalcy.” Even though I feel much better than I did in the hospital, I am realizing my strength, energy, and patience isn’t what it used to be. I’ve loved getting back to family life, but am frustrated that my body can’t be the dad and the husband that I normally am. The pain keeps me down, and my energy is drained very easily. Food doesn’t sound all that appealing to me, and when I eat, it’s a little at a time, contributing to continued loss of weight (which isn’t a good thing this time.)

And dealing with the medical world is frustrating. The last thing I want to do is lengthen the waiting time for this to be resolved, but that is exactly what is happening. After leaving the hospital, I was told that they needed to do a couple more tests, but the pathologists ran out of my tissue needed for those tests. Therefore, they need ANOTHER biopsy… They also told me the blood work they started on the day I was discharged could take up to 2 weeks to complete. As of now, the biopsy is scheduled for February 3, but I will be pushing hard for an earlier date. We are praying for quick results from the blood tests. I also have another PET/CT scan next week on Thursday. All these must be completed before surgery, which will have to be pushed back 1-2 weeks. The delay shouldn’t put me at further risk. I’m trying to remember Philippians 4:6 which says, “Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.” Maybe God wants us to trust in Him for a while longer while He continues to work…

We are beginning to see the medical bills get processed, and now that I am home, I am trying to balance the “trusting God” and the “worrying about/planning for expenses” feelings. Many people have asked to help us – whether it be childcare, meals, or with finances. We are so grateful for the support of everyone and are blown away by the offers. We simply haven’t had time to process much, other than what we are going through. My family has graciously set up a GoFundMe account on our behalf. (www.gofundme.com/f/ryanscancerjourney) I’ve strived to provide for my family but have to humble myself, knowing that our situation has changed and some things we can’t plan for. We welcome any kind of support from anyone, whether financial or with prayers. The prayers alone have been life-changing!

Again we wait. Please continue to pray. Not only for us but also to strengthen your relationship with your Heavenly Father. We pray for continued miracles, big and small. We pray that God will continue to reveal his plan and purpose in our lives, and in this situation. We pray that more people come to find that personal relationship with Jesus Christ, and know God’s love for them and the sacrifice He made for our souls. We need only to BELIEVE. 1 Timothy 2:3 says “This is good, and pleases God our Savior, who wants all people to be saved and to come to a knowledge of the Truth.” Romans 10:9-10 says, “If you declare with your mouth, “Jesus is Lord,” and believe in your heart that God raised Him from the dead, you will be saved. For it is with your heart that you believe and are justified, and it is with your mouth that you profess your faith and are saved.”

To be continued:

January 23 - Doctors have a plan! So does God!

Friends,

Sorry, not sorry for the long posts…

Today is a good day! God is good. God is faithful. Psalms 18 says “The Lord is my rock, my fortress, and my deliverer; my God is my rock, in whom I take refuge, my shield and the horn of my Salvation, my stronghold.” I’ve been told I have the “good cancer.” While this is still cancer, I guess the “good kind” can be removed. The doctors told me I have a long, and somewhat dangerous road ahead, but that I should live a long life!!! PTL! PTL! PTL!!! I currently have a surgery date for January 29, where they will remove the 3 tumors. The two in my liver cover over 50% of my liver, which will need to be removed. However, did you know that the liver is the ONLY organ in your body can regenerate and grow back to the full state?!? Crazy! The one in my pancreas is at the very tail end and should be “easy” to remove. They will open me up, have an 8 hour surgery, 2 week recovery in the hospital (not fun) and a couple month recovery at home. I’ll take it!

Romans 12 says to “be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer.” Proverbs 15 says “The Lord is far from the wicked, but he hears the prayer of the righteous.” THANK YOU for your prayers. God hears when we call to him. If I may, I’d like to continue to solicit your prayers. There is still danger ahead, and God can continue to HEAL. I’d love the doctors to take one last image before surgery and find NOTHING. If not, pray for wisdom and a steady hand for the doctors during surgery. And strength for my family.

I’ve realized through this journey that my relationship with God hasn’t been the best. I’ve wondered why I haven’t felt close to him. Then I realized, how can you know someone when you don’t get to know them (Bible) or talk with them (prayer). I’ve not been good at this. I’ve heard that as people pray for me, some are praying for the first time. Some are praying more than they have before. Some are praying differently – with more fervor and belief than they ever have. I hope this continues long after I am well. Colossians 4 says to “devote yourselves to prayer, being watchful and thankful.” 1 Thessalonians 5 says to “rejoice always, PRAY CONTINUALLY, give thanks in all circumstances; for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus.” Not only should we be learning about him daily through his Word, but talking with him always, as if our best friend is by our side all day (which He is). This is hard for me to remember, but practice makes perfect!

Life is short. Make it count. I hope you never have the thought of which birthdays to choose to make a video for your kids to watch to help them remember you as they grow up, or what you’ll say in a video for when your daughter gets married and you’re not there. I will be making 31 videos, each one of me reading a chapter of Proverbs. If God calls he home before I am ready, my kids will have a constant reminder of their father, and the best advice from their Heavenly Father to live by.

For now we wait again, trusting God, and moving forward. If you’re still reading this, my hope for today is Psalms 30. “I will exalt you, Lord, for you lifted me out of the depths and did not let my enemies gloat over me. Lord my God, I called to you for help, and you healed me. You, Lord, brought me up from the realm of the dead; you spared me from going down to the pit. Sing the praises of the Lord, you his faithful people; praise his holy name. For his anger lasts only a moment, but his favor lasts a lifetime; weeping may stay for the night, but rejoicing comes in the morning. To you, Lord, I called; to the Lord I cried for mercy; What is gained if I am silenced, if I go down to the pit? Will the dust praise you? Will it proclaim your faithfulness? Hear, Lord, and be merciful to me; Lord, be my help. You turned my wailing into dancing; you removed my sackcloth and clothed me with joy, that my heart may sing your praises and not be silent. Lord my God, I will praise you forever.”

I’m discharged from the hospital today!

Ryan

January 20 - Praise the Lord!

Hey Friends, 

I wanted to update you on what's going on. First, I wanted to say a huge THANK YOU to everyone out there sending us your support, prayers, gifts, and encouraging words! I feel like George Bailey in "It's a Wonderful Life," not feeling like I have had much of an impact in this life until I see the support and love of the friends and family I have all around the world in our time of need. We feel truly blessed to have each and every one of you in our lives, new and old friends - some which I haven't heard from in ages but still care. You all mean more to us that you will ever know and we thank you.

After my post on the 12th, we've had plenty of updates and miracles, which we refer to as "PTLs" (Praise the Lord). On Wed the 15th I started to have some severe abdominal pain in the left side of my stomach (a new pain) and drove myself to the ER at USCD in La Jolla. The ER wait was 1.5 hrs to get in. I waited 15 min and was officially admitted to the hospital. PTL! The CT scan I've been waiting a week to get was done in the first couple hours I was there, as well as some blood tests. PTL! Then the biopsy happened the next day! PTL! This would have taken weeks had I not come in.

With the scan, the doctors found a blood clot in my lung and i was immediately put on blood thinners. Had I not come in that day, it could have gotten much worse. (PTL!) The doctors confirmed yet again that it was cancer. But they are now testing to see what kind of cancer it is to see how to treat it. BUT they told me I have 2 masses on my liver and one on the very tail of my pancreas. Kidneys and spleen are clean and untouched! PTL! I went from 6 masses on 4 organs to 3 masses on 2?!? PTL! AND they've ruled out pancreatic cancer, which is a huge PTL!

I've been stuck in the hospital since Wed the 15th waiting. I've been dwelling on Psalms 27, particularly the beginning and the end. "The Lord is my light and my Salvation - whom shall I fear? The Lord is the stronghold of my life - of whom shall I be afraid?Hear my voice when I call, Lord; be merciful to me and answer me. My heart says of you, "Seek his face!" Your Face, Lord, I will seek! I remain confident of this: I will see the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living. Wait for the Lord; be strong and take heart and wait for the Lord."

When I got here I was hunched over, had pain doing anything including eating, not able to move on my own, eating applesauce and on multiple IVs and fluids. I can now stand on my own (almost upright completely) my appetite is almost 100%, the pain had reduced a lot, my energy is back, no IVs, reduced pain killers, and I even showered yesterday! PTL!!! Plus a friend's dad is the head Chair on the Board at USCD (the top guy) and when he heard I was here, he stopped by to say hi and give me his card, and tell me that he is monitoring my progress and getting the best team on my case! PTL!

The days have been getting progressively better, but the waiting is still hard. I still ask for your prayers, especially today. We should have full and final results by tomorrow, and are hoping for the best - and more miracles. I ask for prayer for miraculous healing, for no cancer, or for cancer that can be easily managed and defeated. Anything can be done in Jesus' name. If you haven't heard the song "The Name of Jesus" by Chris Tomlin, please listen to it. Please continue to believe, as we do, that God is Good and has a plan he is working in the midst of this hard time. We have heard many reports of how this situation has already brought encouragement, support, and faith to others. We hope that continues as we navigate these uncertain waters, knowing God is at the helm.

Ryan

January 12 - Request for Prayer

Hey Friends, 

I would like to ask for your prayers. About a month ago, I started to have a pain in my upper stomach/ribs. I didn't think much of it - maybe a rib was out - until it really started to hurt, and my liver was starting to enlarge and push out of my body. Around a week ago I got an ultrasound, and the doctors found 2 large masses in my liver, 1 large mass in my pancreas, 2 smaller masses in my left kidney, and 1 mass on my spleen. They immediately wanted to test for cancer. After fighting with my insurance, which I lost, I got a PET scan. The doctors basically told me I have metastatic cancer, but that more testing is needed. I go in for a biopsy this coming week to find out for sure.

The last week has been a tough one for my family. BUT we believe in a good God who created the entire world and has the power to do anything. In Matthew 21 Jesus says to have faith and do not doubt - that if you believe, you will receive whatever you ask for in prayer. In Mark 11 Jesus says to have faith in God, don't doubt in your heart - believe what you say will happen. Whatever you ask for in prayer, believe that you have received it and it will be yours. James 1 says when you ask you must believe and not doubt.

In Matthew 18 Jesus says when two or three gather in my name, there I am with them - and anything they ask for will be done for them by my Father in Heaven. Friends, I ask for your prayers and I ask for you to believe. God can do miracles. In our short time here, our purpose is to glorify God and worship Him. Even in trials He is faithful. We are praying for a miracle - that God would remove all the masses and that the only explanation is a supernatural one - and that God gets the glory. We pray it isn't cancer, but some other weird thing going on in my body that can be cured.

We trust God. We give him glory even in trials. His Will be done and we love Him no matter what. And if you don't have a personal relationship with Jesus Christ, He wants one with you. There really isn't anything more important than your Salvation.

Ryan