January 29 - THANK YOU!!!

Friends,

All I can say is, WOW…  As I write this, I have tears welling up in my eyes thinking of the generosity of everyone.  Thank you doesn’t even come close.  I can’t talk with someone about this without getting emotional.  And I don’t cry. (well, maybe I have more so in the last 4 weeks…)  The outpouring of friends and family, and friends of friends, and people I don’t know very well, and those I’ve never met…is just inspiring!  As you are aware, there are a lot of thoughts and emotions going on in our minds and hearts.  This level of giving has not only humbled me and my family but has significantly reduced the HUGE worry that has been on our minds.  And again, the journey continues to twist and turn.  I sometimes feel like a broken record, but sincerely appreciate all of you who are going through this journey with us.  It would be hard to go this alone.  I hope you all experience God’s goodness and faithfulness as you follow along.  I hope this reveals more of God’s nature to you, as it has with me and my family.  Psalms 116:5 says, “The Lord is gracious and righteous; our God is full of compassion.”

I just got a call when writing this that I my MRI and CT scan (2 separate scans) tomorrow will require me to pay $5,000.  This is the first expense we have had to pay…and we will be able to!  It’s all God’s timing!  We believe this GoFundMe goal will cover all our immediate expenses coming up.  We are keeping the campaign open for anyone that can give above and beyond the goal.  That will go towards future surgeries and medical expenses related to my condition, and for some help at home while I’m down and out after surgery.  We will beat this cancer, physically and financially, for years to come!

We have seen God work in amazing ways since the beginning, and he continues to work through every one of you.  Your prayers and support have blessed us.  We hope God blesses you in ways you couldn’t have imagined.  I have a meeting with the doctor this week regarding the surgery we have yet to schedule, pending the tests and scans they want.  I will update you when I hear something.  Please continue to pray for my family.  This takes more of a toll on us daily.  

THANK YOU!

Ryan and Desiree

January 26 - More Waiting / Financial Help

We are continuing on the roller coaster. I’ve been home for a couple days now and we are getting back to “normalcy.” Even though I feel much better than I did in the hospital, I am realizing my strength, energy, and patience isn’t what it used to be. I’ve loved getting back to family life, but am frustrated that my body can’t be the dad and the husband that I normally am. The pain keeps me down, and my energy is drained very easily. Food doesn’t sound all that appealing to me, and when I eat, it’s a little at a time, contributing to continued loss of weight (which isn’t a good thing this time.)

And dealing with the medical world is frustrating. The last thing I want to do is lengthen the waiting time for this to be resolved, but that is exactly what is happening. After leaving the hospital, I was told that they needed to do a couple more tests, but the pathologists ran out of my tissue needed for those tests. Therefore, they need ANOTHER biopsy… They also told me the blood work they started on the day I was discharged could take up to 2 weeks to complete. As of now, the biopsy is scheduled for February 3, but I will be pushing hard for an earlier date. We are praying for quick results from the blood tests. I also have another PET/CT scan next week on Thursday. All these must be completed before surgery, which will have to be pushed back 1-2 weeks. The delay shouldn’t put me at further risk. I’m trying to remember Philippians 4:6 which says, “Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.” Maybe God wants us to trust in Him for a while longer while He continues to work…

We are beginning to see the medical bills get processed, and now that I am home, I am trying to balance the “trusting God” and the “worrying about/planning for expenses” feelings. Many people have asked to help us – whether it be childcare, meals, or with finances. We are so grateful for the support of everyone and are blown away by the offers. We simply haven’t had time to process much, other than what we are going through. My family has graciously set up a GoFundMe account on our behalf. (www.gofundme.com/f/ryanscancerjourney) I’ve strived to provide for my family but have to humble myself, knowing that our situation has changed and some things we can’t plan for. We welcome any kind of support from anyone, whether financial or with prayers. The prayers alone have been life-changing!

Again we wait. Please continue to pray. Not only for us but also to strengthen your relationship with your Heavenly Father. We pray for continued miracles, big and small. We pray that God will continue to reveal his plan and purpose in our lives, and in this situation. We pray that more people come to find that personal relationship with Jesus Christ, and know God’s love for them and the sacrifice He made for our souls. We need only to BELIEVE. 1 Timothy 2:3 says “This is good, and pleases God our Savior, who wants all people to be saved and to come to a knowledge of the Truth.” Romans 10:9-10 says, “If you declare with your mouth, “Jesus is Lord,” and believe in your heart that God raised Him from the dead, you will be saved. For it is with your heart that you believe and are justified, and it is with your mouth that you profess your faith and are saved.”

To be continued:

January 23 - Doctors have a plan! So does God!

Friends,

Sorry, not sorry for the long posts…

Today is a good day! God is good. God is faithful. Psalms 18 says “The Lord is my rock, my fortress, and my deliverer; my God is my rock, in whom I take refuge, my shield and the horn of my Salvation, my stronghold.” I’ve been told I have the “good cancer.” While this is still cancer, I guess the “good kind” can be removed. The doctors told me I have a long, and somewhat dangerous road ahead, but that I should live a long life!!! PTL! PTL! PTL!!! I currently have a surgery date for January 29, where they will remove the 3 tumors. The two in my liver cover over 50% of my liver, which will need to be removed. However, did you know that the liver is the ONLY organ in your body can regenerate and grow back to the full state?!? Crazy! The one in my pancreas is at the very tail end and should be “easy” to remove. They will open me up, have an 8 hour surgery, 2 week recovery in the hospital (not fun) and a couple month recovery at home. I’ll take it!

Romans 12 says to “be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer.” Proverbs 15 says “The Lord is far from the wicked, but he hears the prayer of the righteous.” THANK YOU for your prayers. God hears when we call to him. If I may, I’d like to continue to solicit your prayers. There is still danger ahead, and God can continue to HEAL. I’d love the doctors to take one last image before surgery and find NOTHING. If not, pray for wisdom and a steady hand for the doctors during surgery. And strength for my family.

I’ve realized through this journey that my relationship with God hasn’t been the best. I’ve wondered why I haven’t felt close to him. Then I realized, how can you know someone when you don’t get to know them (Bible) or talk with them (prayer). I’ve not been good at this. I’ve heard that as people pray for me, some are praying for the first time. Some are praying more than they have before. Some are praying differently – with more fervor and belief than they ever have. I hope this continues long after I am well. Colossians 4 says to “devote yourselves to prayer, being watchful and thankful.” 1 Thessalonians 5 says to “rejoice always, PRAY CONTINUALLY, give thanks in all circumstances; for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus.” Not only should we be learning about him daily through his Word, but talking with him always, as if our best friend is by our side all day (which He is). This is hard for me to remember, but practice makes perfect!

Life is short. Make it count. I hope you never have the thought of which birthdays to choose to make a video for your kids to watch to help them remember you as they grow up, or what you’ll say in a video for when your daughter gets married and you’re not there. I will be making 31 videos, each one of me reading a chapter of Proverbs. If God calls he home before I am ready, my kids will have a constant reminder of their father, and the best advice from their Heavenly Father to live by.

For now we wait again, trusting God, and moving forward. If you’re still reading this, my hope for today is Psalms 30. “I will exalt you, Lord, for you lifted me out of the depths and did not let my enemies gloat over me. Lord my God, I called to you for help, and you healed me. You, Lord, brought me up from the realm of the dead; you spared me from going down to the pit. Sing the praises of the Lord, you his faithful people; praise his holy name. For his anger lasts only a moment, but his favor lasts a lifetime; weeping may stay for the night, but rejoicing comes in the morning. To you, Lord, I called; to the Lord I cried for mercy; What is gained if I am silenced, if I go down to the pit? Will the dust praise you? Will it proclaim your faithfulness? Hear, Lord, and be merciful to me; Lord, be my help. You turned my wailing into dancing; you removed my sackcloth and clothed me with joy, that my heart may sing your praises and not be silent. Lord my God, I will praise you forever.”

I’m discharged from the hospital today!

Ryan

January 20 - Praise the Lord!

Hey Friends, 

I wanted to update you on what's going on. First, I wanted to say a huge THANK YOU to everyone out there sending us your support, prayers, gifts, and encouraging words! I feel like George Bailey in "It's a Wonderful Life," not feeling like I have had much of an impact in this life until I see the support and love of the friends and family I have all around the world in our time of need. We feel truly blessed to have each and every one of you in our lives, new and old friends - some which I haven't heard from in ages but still care. You all mean more to us that you will ever know and we thank you.

After my post on the 12th, we've had plenty of updates and miracles, which we refer to as "PTLs" (Praise the Lord). On Wed the 15th I started to have some severe abdominal pain in the left side of my stomach (a new pain) and drove myself to the ER at USCD in La Jolla. The ER wait was 1.5 hrs to get in. I waited 15 min and was officially admitted to the hospital. PTL! The CT scan I've been waiting a week to get was done in the first couple hours I was there, as well as some blood tests. PTL! Then the biopsy happened the next day! PTL! This would have taken weeks had I not come in.

With the scan, the doctors found a blood clot in my lung and i was immediately put on blood thinners. Had I not come in that day, it could have gotten much worse. (PTL!) The doctors confirmed yet again that it was cancer. But they are now testing to see what kind of cancer it is to see how to treat it. BUT they told me I have 2 masses on my liver and one on the very tail of my pancreas. Kidneys and spleen are clean and untouched! PTL! I went from 6 masses on 4 organs to 3 masses on 2?!? PTL! AND they've ruled out pancreatic cancer, which is a huge PTL!

I've been stuck in the hospital since Wed the 15th waiting. I've been dwelling on Psalms 27, particularly the beginning and the end. "The Lord is my light and my Salvation - whom shall I fear? The Lord is the stronghold of my life - of whom shall I be afraid?Hear my voice when I call, Lord; be merciful to me and answer me. My heart says of you, "Seek his face!" Your Face, Lord, I will seek! I remain confident of this: I will see the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living. Wait for the Lord; be strong and take heart and wait for the Lord."

When I got here I was hunched over, had pain doing anything including eating, not able to move on my own, eating applesauce and on multiple IVs and fluids. I can now stand on my own (almost upright completely) my appetite is almost 100%, the pain had reduced a lot, my energy is back, no IVs, reduced pain killers, and I even showered yesterday! PTL!!! Plus a friend's dad is the head Chair on the Board at USCD (the top guy) and when he heard I was here, he stopped by to say hi and give me his card, and tell me that he is monitoring my progress and getting the best team on my case! PTL!

The days have been getting progressively better, but the waiting is still hard. I still ask for your prayers, especially today. We should have full and final results by tomorrow, and are hoping for the best - and more miracles. I ask for prayer for miraculous healing, for no cancer, or for cancer that can be easily managed and defeated. Anything can be done in Jesus' name. If you haven't heard the song "The Name of Jesus" by Chris Tomlin, please listen to it. Please continue to believe, as we do, that God is Good and has a plan he is working in the midst of this hard time. We have heard many reports of how this situation has already brought encouragement, support, and faith to others. We hope that continues as we navigate these uncertain waters, knowing God is at the helm.

Ryan

January 12 - Request for Prayer

Hey Friends, 

I would like to ask for your prayers. About a month ago, I started to have a pain in my upper stomach/ribs. I didn't think much of it - maybe a rib was out - until it really started to hurt, and my liver was starting to enlarge and push out of my body. Around a week ago I got an ultrasound, and the doctors found 2 large masses in my liver, 1 large mass in my pancreas, 2 smaller masses in my left kidney, and 1 mass on my spleen. They immediately wanted to test for cancer. After fighting with my insurance, which I lost, I got a PET scan. The doctors basically told me I have metastatic cancer, but that more testing is needed. I go in for a biopsy this coming week to find out for sure.

The last week has been a tough one for my family. BUT we believe in a good God who created the entire world and has the power to do anything. In Matthew 21 Jesus says to have faith and do not doubt - that if you believe, you will receive whatever you ask for in prayer. In Mark 11 Jesus says to have faith in God, don't doubt in your heart - believe what you say will happen. Whatever you ask for in prayer, believe that you have received it and it will be yours. James 1 says when you ask you must believe and not doubt.

In Matthew 18 Jesus says when two or three gather in my name, there I am with them - and anything they ask for will be done for them by my Father in Heaven. Friends, I ask for your prayers and I ask for you to believe. God can do miracles. In our short time here, our purpose is to glorify God and worship Him. Even in trials He is faithful. We are praying for a miracle - that God would remove all the masses and that the only explanation is a supernatural one - and that God gets the glory. We pray it isn't cancer, but some other weird thing going on in my body that can be cured.

We trust God. We give him glory even in trials. His Will be done and we love Him no matter what. And if you don't have a personal relationship with Jesus Christ, He wants one with you. There really isn't anything more important than your Salvation.

Ryan