Heavenly Homecoming

 Ryan Morgan Vorhees

March 29, 1984- September 29, 2020

In our deepest sorrow we announce that Ryan finished his battle with cancer yesterday and went Home to be with Jesus. He was surrounded by his family, with Desiree kissing and holding him as he passed. We grieve. We will continue to grieve. We serve a good and faithful God, who knows suffering, who lost a son and He is grieving with us. We take comfort that Ryan is being celebrated in heaven for a life well lived.

Ryan was a fierce competitor who fought through his last breath. Ryan will be remembered for so many things, but his faith, family and friends were what was most important to him. He loved the Lord and his faith influenced many. He loved his wife and children with a passion. His friends were friends for life. He was a brother, firstborn son, and uncle. He was loved by all.

From where Ryan is sitting right now, we know he would want us to tell you how important faith in Jesus is. In Ryan’s own words, “We trust God. We give him glory even in trials. His Will be done and we love Him no matter what. And if you don't have a personal relationship with Jesus Christ, He wants one with you. There really isn't anything more important than your Salvation.”

We will be facilitating information about the memorial, ways to support and help Desiree, and any other information through his GoFundMe page.

We ask for patience, grace, love and prayers at this time.

Forever in our hearts, but we will see you again.

https://www.gofundme.com/f/ryanscancerjourney

July 31 - Still Alive

Hey Friends,

I don't even know where we left off in my updates.  The days are slow but the weeks go by fast!  As some of you have heard, I went to Salt Lake City and to Texas to check out some new, alternative treatments.  I was gone from May 20 - June 21.  Some treatments helped, some did not, but we learned a lot about the body and more natural ways to strengthen it, increasing it's ability to fight disease.  I've been back home for a little over a month now, continuing my old treatments and adding new treatments that I've learned. 

Despite our efforts, I have felt my body slowly deteriorating.  My stomach has gotten a little bigger from the tumors.  I can't gain any weight.  My energy is so low, it's hard to get out of bed some days.  These are not signs of getting better.  Therefore we got a new CT scan and our fears were confirmed.  Over the last 2 months, all my tumors have grown.  We need to get more aggressive. My oncologist said that traditional chemo is off the table, as my body is too weak to handle it.  However, they can administer a lower dose and lower the amount of drugs they would use for that treatment.  With us still trying to avoid chemo, we are going with Plan B.  Immunotherapy has it's risks, but less risky than chemo.  And there are some great testimonies regarding the results.

So we will be doing a round of immunotherapy on Tuesday, August 4.  One treatment every 3 weeks.  We will give it a try and see how my body and the tumors react.  We are hoping and praying this is the treatment that God uses to heal me.  My oncologist said that at this point, I will die from this cancer.  Their goal is to prolong my life as long as they can.  I don't know if that's days, months, or years.  But this was the first time anyone said that my cancer is terminal.  I hadn't thought of that until now.  I've always thought that healing was coming.  Needless to say, the words hit hard, and for the next 5 days, my health went down significantly and I probably had mild depression.  The power of positivity and the mind is amazing and can steer your health in any direction.  This was last week. 

This oncologist isn't God.  How do they know if/when I'm going to die?  What if God does step in and heals me?  With God's help and the help of family, I've been trying to change my mindset with faith that God is bigger than this cancer, and death is not certain.  I need to continue to fight and stay healthy.  I think of Psalm 118:17-18 which says "I will not die but live, and will proclaim what the Lord has done.  The Lord has chastened me severely, but he has not given me over to death." 

As long as God wakes me up the next day, He has a plan for me.  Yes, we updated our will, went over all finances, talk about the what-ifs, etc...but we are still trusting God and His timing.  And prayer is still very much appreciated.  Please pray wisdom as we move into bigger therapies.  Prayer for strength that my body can handle these therapies.  Prayer for my family as they navigate with us.  Prayer for Desiree - full time mom and caregiver, watching her husband deteriorate daily.  I can get around our house, with difficulty.  But I have a cane for short distances, a wheel chair for longer trips, and a motorized scooter...this is mainly to be able to chase my kids outside and be somewhat involved in their lives.  My chair is just about as fast as their power wheels.

We continue to be blessed by people as we go through this.  From simple visits to dinners to prayer and donations, we are grateful for the community we have around us.  God is faithful, merciful, compassionate, and just.  No matter the outcome, we know God never changes and we can always call on and rely on Him. 

June 1 - Update from Desiree

I have not updated Facebook for a long time... I have not sent hand written Thank You notes... I have not written in a journal... I have not responded to many text messages... I have been at capacity, to say the least, as wife, mama, caregiver, plant-based beginner chef, home manager, and of course, "Mom-ster" ("Mommy, you be a monster and chase us around infinity times!"...(sigh)..."Yes, little loves, here I come!") However I muster up the courage and energy to write this update today on behalf of my beloved husband... as his helpmate, his voice, his strength, when he cannot. As Aaron and Hur held up Moses' arms when he grew tired, in order to win a battle. (Exodus 17 - what a cool story!). If you've even just met Ryan, you immediately love him. Since his diagnosis in January, Ryan has been working extremely hard on his healing journey from stage 4 adrenal cortical cancer. Unfortunately, our "Plan A" treatment regimen alone, has not been successful. Blood tests, another scan, general poor health, and a grim, frightening conversation with his oncologist, have confirmed that we need to move on to another plan immediately. After praying and seeking advice, we decided to pursue a treatment in Salt Lake City for 3 months - "Plan B". Ryan was in pretty bad shape going out there. He had been bed ridden for days prior, was on morphine for extreme abdominal pain, and his parents wheeled him through the airport. My heart hurt so deeply to send him off and see him like that - our once strong SuperMan, now so frail and somber. Ryan has been in Salt Lake City for a week now undergoing intense, multiple hours-long treatment, every day - 7 days/week! His parents and my father are there with him and report that while still in pain, Ryan is experiencing tiny improvements each day! Praise the Lord for small evidences of grace! We all believe that he is in the right place, at the right time, with the right team around him. (My dad joked that Ryan died and went to the "other place" based on who his 3 new roommates are! Strong motivation to get well and get home!) The kids and I are at home and miss Daddy terribly, but feel at peace that he, and we, are where we all should be right now. We are each doing the work God is calling us to do for this time. And I truly feel the Lord is holding us and sustaining me daily- my energy and health - and I have a wonderful, strong support team around me. In addition to his treatment in SLC, the rare opportunity opened up (talk about God opening doors for us to walk through!) for Ryan to be treated by a doctor (the Guru in this type of treatment) in Texas next week. So Ryan and his entourage will be going to Texas for a week, then back to SLC. This trip and additional treatment, bring me to the reason for my update and request today. We are so grateful and humbled for the financial gifts we've been given this far! THANK YOU! Between his hospitalization, scans, supplements, alternative treatments (not approved or covered by insurance), and this Plan B treatment in SLC, we have used these funds wisely for Ryan's care. However, we would like to ASK for help again. Additional funds will cover this upcoming trip to Texas including the treatment, as well as any further treatment ("Plan C") if needed. Praying we won't get to Plan C! Additionally, our most pressing ASK is for prayer. Some may say, "I wish I could do more", but honestly, as Rev. Billy Graham said, "praying for someone is the equivalent of offering a starving man food." It's the BEST we can offer someone. "Praying unlocks the doors of heaven and releases the power of God." So THANK YOU in advance for joining me in lifting up my husband, praying for Ryan's healing and for the restoration of our own Superman. Now if you'll excuse me... Momster is being called. xoxo Team Vorhees, Desiree, Jaxon, Wyatt, & Roseleigh

May 4 - Onward and Forward!

Hey Friends,

Well, March 22 was the last update and I left you hanging. I apologize. I was in a lot of pain and trying to get through that setback. The last 6 weeks have been a lot of the same thing. I do well for 1-2 weeks, then have a 7 day setback, then I do it again. I just got out of a 2 week setback that was pretty terrible, but today is the 2nd day I’m feeling like myself again and am able to be up and involved in my family life.

After the last update, we ended up getting an ultrasound instead of a CT scan, as it is less invasive and less bad for you. However, it also isn’t as clear. Myself and the doctors couldn’t get a good read to compare to my last scans, and couldn’t determine whether or not the tumors are growing or not. I held off for a while on another scan, as I was starting to feel better, but have determined the scan is necessary. I was off my routine the last two weeks due to being ill, but am back on everything. I have a CT scan scheduled for May 28. This allows me a couple weeks of being back on routine, taking my 65 pills, getting some exercise, doing some alternative treatments, and trying to make by body as strong as possible until then.

I’ll be getting some blood work done as well as the scan. After this, we will have a really good idea on how my treatment is going. Especially without chemo. Then we will take that information and use it to make decisions on the best way to move forward. This is where the prayer comes in. We would like to ask for prayer for health up through the scan. I’d like to avoid any setbacks and try to be as healthy as I can until then for optimal results. Prayer for the scans. We are looking for no more growth in the tumors. We are looking for shrinking tumors. Prayer for decisions. Based on the information we will get, we must decide on how to move forward. Do we continue to pursue natural treatments, or do we consider conventional methods, which we are still not fond of.

God has been speaking to us as well, especially through different people, some who’ve given us words they received from God regarding us and our situation. I keep telling myself I need to pray more. I need to read the Bible more. This is what God wants and this is what I need to do win his healing favor in my battle. At least that is what I thought. Yes, God wants that. However, more than that, He wants a more personal relationship with me. He wants one with you too. God’s been telling me simply to talk with him more. Talk with him throughout the day. In prayer, yes. But in regular conversation too. Little worries, daily stresses, prayer for others – bring it to Him. All day. I get a text from a friend with a prayer request. Talk to God right then and there. I have a new worry. Talk to God. I’m enjoying a walk or a sunset or a nap. Talk to God. It’s not something I’m used to and I need to work out that “muscle” to make it more natural. God wants me to talk with Him outside of my morning prayer and meal-time prayers? Go figure!

We continue to feel confident that God will bring us through this journey and want God to use us and our story to further His kingdom. We also understand (and have been told) this will be a long and difficult road. BUT Jesus is with us and walking us down the path, pointing out the obstacles and helping us overcome. We hang on to this hope and the promises we have in God’s Word. I’ll be better at updating, and will be back once the CT results are in. This should be around June 1. Until then, and as always, we are so appreciative of all of you who are supporting us in different ways. There is no way we could have tackled this on our own. God is good and faithful. Even in hard times. This is a good thing to remember, especially in our current world. Remember that.

Ryan

March 22 - ups and downs

Hey Friends,

Well, it’s been around 3 weeks since my last update.  Until recently, it’s been quite boring (but positive).  Over the 3 weeks I was (slowly, slowly) gaining weight.  I was up and about more.  My appetite and energy level had been low for a long time.  Recently, I was eating full meals, extra shakes and some snacks.  My energy level was WAY UP.  I went for a long walk with the family (hadn’t done that since January) and played with the boys, which I haven’t been able to do with the lack of energy.  Luckily the Corona Virus isn’t affecting our family much.  We have been and will continue to hunker at home (with a few play dates for the kids).  Honestly, I had been getting up in the morning to spend time with God, but because (insert excuse), I haven’t been getting up recently.

Then came Monday.  We had a great weekend only to develop a deep cough that day.  I stayed inside and laid low, but the cough hurt.  And I think with all the pressure and tensing of the cough, I may have pulled something in my lower, left abdomen.  The pain is terrible.  This kind of pain brought me to the ER in January, when this all started.  I started on Morphine again (which I’d been off of for weeks) but the help hasn’t come yet.  I can only lay in my bed and not move or talk without pain – all for the last 6 days.  If this is like before in January, it took around 6 days on Morphine at the hospital to have the pain subside.  Well, I can eat my food, sleep in my bed, and take Morphine, by myself, thanks.  Tackling this at home isn’t fun, as I am confined to bed for the most part, and can’t help when the house is a mess, dinner needs to be made, and the kids (and maybe Des and I) are crying.  Me failing is one of the hardest things to overcome – mentally and physically. 

Our hospital bills (not including insurance, so we will pay less) have topped $130k, and, realizing there are some very important drugs, supplements, and therapies available to fight cancer, (some expensive) we have been able to carefully choose which to do and which to not do, and have the money to do as much as we can to help defeat this thing.  We continue to thank God for all of you and for your support in many different ways.  I appreciate all the comments on Facebook and recommendations of things to try.  If I could respond to everyone, I would. 

We wanted to wait until the beginning of April for more scans (4 weeks after declining the chemo.)  This scare has me packed ready for the ER if needed.  Though I think the ER is a sick and full place right now, so I’m taking that into account as well in staying home.  We are now trying to get a scan this week and see if what we are doing is working.  If the tumors are growing, then what I’m doing isn’t working and chemo is the last hope (not a good one).  However, if it shows no growth or a little shrinkage, I will be singing shouts of joy to the Lord and continuing down the natural path.  It is a scary place to be – with answers coming that could point me toward more healing or closer to death.

We want this to be over.  It’s becoming more than we want to deal with.  I know that suffering is predicted in the Bible and that there is a lot of good that God can show through this.  That doesn’t mean it’s hard and I want instant healing.  I’m hanging on to the little faith and trust I have left.  We continue to appreciate your prayers and pray that you would hold your family tight this week (they are all at your house for the whole week…)  If you and your spouse or kids are alive and healthy, that’s all you need.  Let all the trivial things go.  Enjoy each other during this quarantine.  I’ll let you know what the scan says.

In Him,

Ryan

March 1 - 4 weeks

Friends,

I wanted to shoot a quick update to everyone regarding the past 2 weeks.  On Tuesday, February 18, my sister-in-law set up a day of prayer and fasting for the Vorhees Family and spread it around Facebook.  If you didn’t know about Tuesday and missed it, no worries -  any other day will work.  Chemo was scheduled for Friday but I really wasn’t ready to try that yet.  I was scheduled and was going to do it, but it felt like the wrong direction.  I also had a meeting on Thursday with one last recommended natural doctor who was going to do a live blood analysis on me. 

Tuesday we knew something was going to happen, as a lot of people were praying and fasting for us.  Well, on Tuesday the 18th, people started praying – and I got the flu.  In bed all day.  102 degrees.  Sick for 3 days.  Lost 5 lbs.  Not fun.  Then I met with the last doctor, who told me chemo would be bad for me, due to lack of oxygen in my blood, and recommended another route for 6 weeks.  So I don’t feel well, now have a doctor saying chemo would be bad for me, and plan to start chemo the next day!  With my low oxygen levels I really don’t want chemo now but hate to cancel it.  BUT, my Oncologist called me on Thursday to confirm chemo, and I told her I had been sick.  She told me because of the illness, they needed to cancel the chemo until I was healthier.  Full Circle.  Big prayer day on Tues, I get sick, that leads to cancellation of chemo and another doctor’s recommendations.  This is the direction we feel is best for us.  And I think this was all part of God’s plan and timing!

I am putting off chemo for 4 weeks.  We have a very strict daily regimen I am sticking by to beat this cancer naturally.  All last week was spent working on me – my diet, my pills and powders, and my alternative treatments.  If this works, I wouldn’t need chemo.  I want to shrink the tumors back to nothing and erase this cancer.  And I believe I can do that with God’s help and the tools God gives us.  After 4 weeks, we will do a scan to see if the tumors are larger or smaller, and see what progress we’ve made if any.  I’m also learning the power of the mind when it comes to our health.  Positive thinking and visualizing the healing is a big factor in the healing process. 

The next 4 weeks will be on cruise control of sorts.  Do our daily regimen – every day – and stay healthy.  I plan on putting in a couple hours a day for work.  Need to keep the mind from going crazy.  And I need to eat.  Weight gain will be a positive indicator of success.  And I still need to believe that God has some cool things in the works.  Overall, we are feeling very positive with things at this point.  Trying to live a normal life.  We appreciate all the prayers, thoughts, comments, meals, texts – and everything else from all of you.  Your genuine concern has been very encouraging to us and helps us get through the good and the not-so-good days, knowing we are not tacking this alone, but have a ton of help at our fingertips.  We continue to say thank you for the support.  We continue to trust God’s plan.  We are looking forward to the end of this journey, and a long life ahead!

 

February 16 - Fighting Cancer

Friends,

I’ve lacked the energy recently to keep the updates going. And we’ve been busy. But we are on a positive track! Isaiah 40:31 says “those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength.” We are trusting and hoping on a daily basis. We’ve been asking God for guidance and direction. We’ve been praying for wisdom in making decisions. Through this, God has brought some amazing people into our lives. But before I get into details, I have to say a HUGE THANK YOU again to those who contributed to the GoFundMe account. This has exceeded our expectations above and beyond! I wish I could write each one of you a thank you card. And the giving continues. This has been a godsend as we have spent quite a bit already and have some more larger expenses coming up in relation to my healing. Thanks to you that is a stress we don’t have to have.

So far in this journey we’ve let the doctors and the hospitals direct our paths and have felt quite helpless. We decided to make a change and do some research about natural cancer fighting options. We’ve learned a lot! We met with two natural cancer fighting centers – one in Tijuana and one in LA – and have learned about some therapies that have had some great results with people and cancer. A friend from church who recently defeated brain cancer (naturally) has come along side me in this journey to help and coach me along the way. We’ve had multiple people reach out to my family with their amazing success stories fighting cancer themselves. We’ve read about how cannabis can kill cancer cells. We’ve learned that cancer can’t live in an alkaline body. We’ve learned that a well oxygenated body can keep cancer from growing and spreading. We’ve learned that we can turn our body into a cancer fighting machine with the right tools and nutrition. We will be implementing many of the things we have learned to help fight this cancer. God can heal us. Or he can give us the tools to use ourselves. Usually it’s a combination of both.

I had chemo scheduled for last week. I cancelled it. Wasn’t ready. It’s frustrating that I am creating a cancer-fighting body and chemo destroys it. I am currently scheduled for 4 days of chemo, starting on Friday…unless I cancel again… I would like prayer for direction on the choices to make to fight this cancer the most effective way. Prayer that God will use my body, His creation, to do what it was created to do and fight this disease. Prayer that some kind of test or result comes in before I start chemo that would change the direction. Prayer for my family. We make the most of every day, but we can feel the fog.

As many of you have already said, we also believe that this will be a big story in our testimony going forward. We believe God has a plan for our lives, and that it doesn’t end here. We believe in a miraculous God! We look forward to seeing what else He has in store for us. THANK YOU to those who brought us a keto meal and treats. I didn’t believe keto could be good but you’ve proved me wrong – everything was delicious. And very helpful to have. My energy comes and goes throughout the day. My weight is holding steady (barely). I still can’t eat as much as I used to. And the family life keeps it’s daily regimen regardless. Except this time, every moment is cherished a little more than normal.